It’s a month that will forever be etched in the back of my mind for the rest of my life. I spent time at a Washington Nationals at New York Mets game in the early part of the month with my mom and brother. I went to my first concert alone, I’ve gone to see Taylor Swift and Coldplay over the last two years with my sister and mom respectively. But going to see Shawn Mendes on my own was a surreal experience.
September was a transition period for not only the seasons, but for me personally too. It was the first time I was out of work since I was 18. It was the first time I didn’t have school — I graduated from Manhattan College in May. Applying for jobs has been tedious and annoying but it’s, of course, necessary in order to take the next step in life.
We all have these moments in our own respective lives. Experiencing puberty, high school, thinking about a career choosing where to go for college, graduation in general, searching for a job and landing the first one, marriage, birth of first born, etc., etc. In any of these scenarios, what needs to be learned is finding an inner peace. To do so, you have to remain within yourself. Once you overwhelm yourself with everything else, that’s asking for anything you can imagine to start popping up. That’s the lesson of personal growth I’m struggling with as of the posting of this blog. I’ve felt so confused and frustrated at times with what I’m sharing with you now and what I’m not.
(Editor’s Note: I share a little more about this in a recent post (below), albeit still very vague.)
The key is to find something, someone, whatever or whoever to vent what you’re feeling toward. Something I’m finally starting to understand is letting go of the difficulties we come across doesn’t mean we’re giving up. It means we’re allowing ourselves, both mind and body, to take a step back and make sure no matter what it is we’re facing isn’t changing who we are deep down. That’s not living life, it’s prevention of living. Through talking problems out, I’ve discovered a new side to what really defines trust.
Another helpful tool for me has been to listen to certain songs that I relate to with deep insight. Lyrics have kind of been a person giving me advice on what I’ve been going through. Music has provided me with a what I need to hear and the strength to keep moving forward. So that’s how I wanted to end, by leaving the Spotify embed to Mendes’s song “Understand” from his new album “Illuminate.” However, I can’t seem to be able to do figure out how to… so… for now here’s the monologue he has near the end of the song:
When you wake up your whole world’s flipped
It’s just different, and you gotta, you know you gotta, you gotta go with it
And that’s just simply growing up
And not see it in a negative way
If they see it as it has been given to you
I mean, as much as times can be crazy
You’re gonna feel like that’s where you’re supposed to be
You’re not going to feel out of place anymore
You’re going to feel like that’s where you meant to be
You don’t have to pretend that it’s easy all the time
You just let it go, and, and grow with it
And you can’t hold on to the old you, or the old this, or the old that
Because you know you change, and it’s not changing in a bad way
It’s just changing because that’s what happens in life
You grow up, everyone moves on
You’re just learning
You stay true to yourself
Changing isn’t a bad thing
It never was
But at the end of the day, you know
You’re the same person
And, and where your heart is
That doesn’t change